EMber Month Jokes Compilation

Module 1:

Who is more stupid?

Me,i choose No12 ….
1. The Ibadan man who removed his shoes to enter a taxi.
2. The Ondo man who went to the bank with a spanner to open a bank account.
3. The Egba man who went to bed with a ruler just to know how long he slept.
4. The Oshogbo man who watched the news and waved at the newscaster.
5. The Ijebu nurse who woke up a sleeping patient simply because she forgot to give him sleeping pills.
6. The Ilesha man who lowered his TV volume because he wanted to read a text message.
7. The Owerri man who polished his shoes to take a passport photo.
10. The Onitsha man who climbed a mango tree to check if the mango was ripe enough then came down and started stoning it.
11. The Benin man who chose to drink Fanta because he thought sprite was unripe.
12. The Ife man who saw something that looked like shit, touched and tasted and said “Hmmm” na shit ooo!!! Thank God I no match am.
13. The Ilorin man who put his radio inside the refrigerator because he wanted to listen to Cool FM.
LAUGHTER WILL NOT CEASE IN YOUR LIFE & IN FAMILY.
WHO is more stupid?
Me,i choose No12 ….
1. The Ibadan man who removed his shoes to enter a taxi.
2. The Ondo man who went to the bank with a spanner to open a bank account.
3. The Egba man who went to bed with a ruler just to know how long he slept.
4. The Oshogbo man who watched the news and waved at the newscaster.
5. The Ijebu nurse who woke up a sleeping patient simply because she forgot to give him sleeping pills.
6. The Ilesha man who lowered his TV volume because he wanted to read a text message.
7. The Owerri man who polished his shoes to take a passport photo.
10. The Onitsha man who climbed a mango tree to check if the mango was ripe enough then came down and started stoning it.
11. The Benin man who chose to drink Fanta because he thought sprite was unripe.
12. The Ife man who saw something that looked like shit, touched and tasted and said “Hmmm” na shit
I am waiting for your answers…

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Module 2: 

I’m sure you’ll agree with me that our Naija parents are just incredible with the way they raise their children. They are the funniest set of parents in the world. If you grew up in this part of the world (Nigeria), you must have definitely heard your Nigerian parents make these statements.

1. While talking to you, they call your name a good number of times and next thing you hear is, how many times did I call you?
2. When you’re about leaving for college or something. They’ll always tell you to remember the son of who you are.
3. When you come home with your result sheet, even if you came second or third, it doesn’t really matter as long as you didn’t come first, the next thing they say is that, when I was your age, I always came first. This actually leaves us wondering who comes second or last in the class, since they all came first.
4. When you tell your mum you’re hungry, the next thing she tells you is, come and eat me.
5. When they send you on an errand to bring something for them, and you ask them where you should keep it, their reply will be put it on my head.
6. When you offend your mum, and she doesn’t know what to say to you anymore, the next thing she says is I didn’t kill my mum, so you cannot kill me.
7. When you do something wrong and they are correcting you, the next thing they will say is, you think you’re doing me, you’re doing yourself.
8. When they’re beating you for something you did and you’re trying to protect yourself from the cane, they’ll say, you want to beat, abi? Oya, go ahead and beat me.
9. After beating you and you start crying, they’ll tell you to hold your mouth. If I hear ‘pem you will hear ween’.
10. When you borrow your mum some money and you ask her to give it back when you need it, she’ll tell the history of your birth down to your present age…This one dey vex me pass.

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One thing that amazes me is how they all say the same thing to their children. It’s like they all attend a school that teaches them what to say to their kids on different occasions. Lols

But nevertheless we love our naija parents just the way they are. Because they are always there for us when we need them.
I love my naija parents.
If you love yours too type

‘I LOVE MY PARENTS’

 

Module 3:

Today’s kids are so spoilt that they don’t know that in our days you could be beaten for any of the following reasons:
1. Crying after being beaten.
2. Not crying after being beaten
3. Crying without being beaten
4. Standing while the elders are seated
5. Sitting while the elders stand
6. Walking around aimlessly where the elders are seated.
7. Replying back to an elder
8. Not replying back to an elder
9. Spending too much time without being beaten.
10. Singing after being admonished
11. Not greeting visitors
12. Eating food prepared for the visitors.
13. Crying to go with the visitors when the visitors are leaving.
14. Refusing to eat.
15. Coming back home after sunset
16. Eating at the neighbour’s home
17. Generally being moody.
18. Generally being too excited.
19. Fighting with your age mate and losing.
20. Fighting with your age mate and winning.
21. Eating too slowly
22. Eating too quickly
23. Eating too much
24. Sleeping while the elders had already woken up
25. Looking at the visitors while they are eating
26.Stumbling and falling when walking…
27. Looking at an elder eye ball to eye ball.
28. When an elder is talking to you and you blink your eye.
29. When an elder is talking to you and you stare without blinking.
30. When you look at an elder with a corner eye.
31. When your mates are playing Street football and you join them to play.
32. When your mates are playing and you not playing with them.
Somebody should help tell these things to all these Indomie age children that don’t have regards for elders. Let them
know what we suffered in our time…
? ? ?

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TBC….

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