Funny Jokes Compilation by AB

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Question: What’s the difference between a girl and a knife?

Answer: A KNIFE HAS A POINT.

Doctor: “I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.”
Patient: “What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!”
Doctor: “Nine.”

Girls are the Most Wonderful Creatures In the World….!!!! ♥

Though You Find Dem Difficult Enough

because….

If You Kiss Her. You Are not a Gentleman..!! :/

& If You Don’t. You Are Not A Man :/

If You Praise Her. She Thinks You Are Lying..!!

& If You Don’t. You Are Good For Nothing

If You Agree To All Her Likes.You Are A Wimp !! 😐

& If You Don’t. You Are Not Understanding

If You Visit Her Often… She Thinks You Are Boring !!

& If You Don’t. She Accuses You Of Double-Crossing

If You Are Well Dressed… She Says You Are A Playboy !! :<

& If You Don’t… You Are A Dull Boy

If You Are Jealous… She Says Itz Bad..!! :
& If You Don’t… She Thinks You Don’t Luv Her

If You Attempt Doing Romance. She Says You Didn’t Respect Her:l

& If You Don’t… She Thinks You Don’t Like Her

If You Are A Minute Late… She Complains It’s Hard To Wait !!: I

& If She Is Late… She Says that’s A Girl’s Way

If You Visit Another Man. You’re Not Putting In “Quality time” !!:^

& If She Is Visited By Another Woman… “Oh It’s Natural, We are Girls”

If You Kiss Her Once In a While… She Professes You Are Cold :/

& If You Kiss Her often… She Yells that You Are Taking Advantage

If You Fail To Help Her In Crossing the Street… You Lack Ethics

& If You Do… She Thinks It’s Just One Of Men Tactics For Seduction

If You Stare At Another Woman. She Accuses You Of Flirting 😐

& If She Is Stared By Other Men. She Says that they Are Just Admiring :/

If You Talk… She Wants You To Listen

& If You Listen… She Wants You To Talk

–> In Short:

So Simple… Yet So Complex !!!

So Weak… Yet So Powerful !!!

So Confusing… Yet So Desirable !!

So Damning. Yet So Wonderful

Wife: I have a good news and a bad news.

Husband: I m very busy. Just give me the good news.

Wife: the airbags in our new AUDI worked perfectly fine.

Question: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Anser: Snowballs.

Wishful thinking

I’m looking for a bank loan which can perform two things.

give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. :-p

Mother: “How was school today, Patrick?”
Patrick: “It was very great mum! Today we made explosives!”
Mother: “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”
Patrick: “What school?”