This hilarious story of how a phone call changed the atmosphere inside a bus and got everyone panicking should make your day…
It was narrated on micro-blogging website by @IrunmoleWeil… For those who don’t understand Yoruba, the translation is provided alongside in red…
Read what he wrote below…
Have I told y’all the story of how one man almost killed everybody in a danfo on a Tuesday morning because of one phone call? No?
Here is the story.
In the bus…full load. Destination? Iyana ipaja. Current location? Super approaching ile-epo at top danfo speed. Suddenly *phone rings* ‘ta ran ta ran ta ran taran’
One middle aged man brings out one funny looking nokia, picks the call, placing the back of the phone to his ears
Now. Nobody is paying attention. Why? The bus is hot and half of the passengers are in a hurry. Some people like me are drowned in deep thoughts but suddenly ‘Ehn kilon je be…e je ko assasinate’ (what’s that? Let him or her assassinate) from the elderly man brings everybody to consciousness.
Assassinate? Assasi kini? What can fa? On a Tuesday morning.Now the conductor is looking dazed. The driver obviously didnt hear d man but d bus is quiet. The man jets off again ‘A ni e ma ba mi soro yen, e je ki o assassinate, ti awon egbe reeh ban assassinate e je ko assassinate’ (Don’t talk to me about that… let him/her assassinate… if he/she’s mate are assassinating, then let he/she also assassinate).
Wild? Now the driver has heard. We are almost at ile-epo. Half of the bus is screaming ‘Owa ooh’ ‘Oun bole’ (we have reached my destination, let us get down). The man cuts the call, sighs, hiss then says ‘Driver Owa ni ile-epo’ (driver I will alight at Ile-Epo). Driver hits brake almost immediately. Bus goes gba ga gbi gi gboa gbi… (
E bole …e bole… Nobody comes down. What? I thought y’all wanted to come down now? No! Eh bole moh ni? (You’re not getting down again?).
Nobody talks. The man says… ‘Malo kin tele yin deh iyana ipaja tin ban kpa da bo kin wo wan’… (keep on driving)… Driver instantly accelerates like ‘je kin lo ja hired killer yi le’ (abeg, let me go and drop this hired killer).
Now half of the bus chorus ‘E je ki awa bole’ ‘A fe bole’. I kid you not the driver says ‘Okoh yi o le duro moh..iyana ipaja loti ma duro..’ (Half the bus wanted to get down and the driver refused saying he’s not stopping till he drops the supposed hired killer).
Now the bus is wild. Driver speeding…’vaaaaan’… Passengers sweating…then again.
Ta ran ta ran ta ran ta ran…(*Phone Rings*) ‘Hello aunty me..school ta fi peju si won ni peju o le assasinate’… (Hello aunty, the school we enrolled Peju, they said Peju can’t assassinate).
Silence! ‘E wo e je ki omo yen assasinate..gbo gbo nkan ti egbe reh ban shey ni ko ma shey..bi egbe reh ba assasinate..e je ko assasinate’ (Please let that child to assassinate, everything her mate are doing, she should do. If her mates are assassinating, let her assassinate also”.)
Cuts call. Silence
Suddenly from the back, one very fine looking chic taps the man.
‘Daddy Assassinate koh..assimilate ni’ Ehn….we were already passed pleasure. Approaching Almaroof… (Daddy it’s not assassinating, it’s assimilated).
What? Baba is not a hired killer? Wow. Driver slams the brake…gbiiiiiii…’Awon wo le fe bole’ (who are those who want to get down)?
I kid you not… From Almaroof to Iyana ipaja was another swear march. From the elderly women at the back. ‘Koni dafun oyinbo…wa so yon di wereh se eko’ ‘Shey ejo baba wani’
*It won’t be good for white people… they want to turn someone to mad man in Lagos, it’s not the man’s fault.”
So we survived.